unfounded and confounded

One of the most disappointing situations we can ever find ourselves in is being on the wrong side of an unfounded accusation. It’s frustrating. An example of the unfounded accusation:

“I heard from so-and-so that you said this and that about me.”

“What do you think about that?”

“Well-l-l…It doesn’t really sound like something you’d say.”

“Exactly.”

Sound familiar? I can’t even be bothered with defending myself in this situation. Either you know me or you don’t. If you know me, you should give me the benefit of the doubt. If you don’t know me, you should know better than to randomly attack the character of someone you don't know.

I’m not a gossip. I don’t waste my time spreading stories about people that I know or that I don’t know. Frankly, if someone anywhere, at any time tells you I said something hurtful about you, instead of getting upset with me, you might instead consider why that person is giving you that information.

Say what?

Yes, I went there.

When a “friend” relays some piece of hurtful information, under the guise of “helping” you, or “just trying to be a good friend,” I have to wonder how “helpful” that “friend” is really trying to be. For the sake of argument, let’s say I wake up tomorrow and decide I love to spin stories about people I know. I start to burn up the phone lines with wild tales that are so bad, they’re good. Right. But even if I did do something like that, why would the person I am talking to run to you? Will the information help you in some way?

How?

Because as far as I can tell, spreading gossip is just as bad as making it up. The person gleefully dispensing the information may not have started the juicy rumor, but they sure are feeding the fire. If you find yourself on the wrong end of a rumor, instead of getting angry at the person who “started” the gossip, try exercising a bit of wisdom from an old friend of mine:

Consider the source.

When someone tells me something that doesn’t sound right to me, I don’t just think about what the person is saying to me. I wonder why they are telling me that bit of information. I wonder about the timing.

I wonder if they are telling the truth.

To drive the point home, I asked a good friend, a really good friend, what she would do if another one of our friends approached her with a story that was attributed to me.

“I don’t get it. What do you mean, if you said something about me? Why would you do that?”

“This is just for the sake of argument. Imagine so-and-so said that I said this-and-that about you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“It’s just for the sake of argument!”

“OK, but it seems pretty stupid.”

(Sigh) “I know. But just tell me, what would your very first reaction be?”

“I’d wonder why so-and-so was making it up. I know you’d never talk about me. You just...don't do that.”

Right.

consumable gifts: specialty foods offer a taste of the city

When trying to come up with the perfect gift for my mom and dad for Christmas, I had to face a couple of challenges:

*My parents have too much stuff, or so they tell me. I actually think they've done an admirable job of downsizing over the last few years.

*My parents expect a lot from me at Christmas. Past Christmas gifts included repairing an old Brownie photo of them, which, when blown up, turned out to be the only good photo of them together before they married. Last year, I ordered steak sandwiches from the half-century old restaurant in the town where they used to live. Hard to beat, in other words.

So the challenge every year is to give them something special, something that they'll really enjoy, and something they can actually use. I liked the idea of a gift basket, because since they live in a small town on the coast, they don't have the luxuries and niceties that we all take for granted, living in and around a larger city. In the end, I went to Wizer's in Lake Oswego and created my own gift basket. Without the basket. My parents actually have enough baskets, too.

If you haven't been to Wizer's, you're missing out. This fabulous gem of a specialty grocery store has, well, everything. At least the important stuff, including a very knowledgeable wine steward and a fabulous selection of craft soda pops. In addition to Wizer's, we also popped into Lady Di's British store for a couple of items to include a bit of Canadian influence. Lady Di's has all the good stuff especially if you're craving English shortbreads, toffee, or tea.

When you put together a gift basket, think about who you are buying for. My parents, like everyone in our family, are foodies. They both love to cook and they love to eat. However, they are somewhat limited by the options available to them on the coast. Although the central coast has a bounty of fresh seafood, you're hard-pressed to find gourmet food items.

I buy a spinach salad from New Seasons with a fantastic dressing made with champagne vinegar and I knew they'd love it, too. I'm trying to convince my parents to switch to homemade salad dressings. They're so much better than bottled dressings, and there's no waste- you just make as much as you need for the evening. So, champagne vinegar got added to the basket. For the other items in the gift basket (below), I just wandered around the stores and thought about what my parents would like the most. Putting it together was fun and watching them sift through the contents was even better. They loved the gift basket so I'm off the hook once again- until next year.

Champagne Vinaigrette
2 T Champagne vinegar
1/3 c Olive oil
1/2 t Dijon (mustard acts as an emulsifier- use more or less depending upon how thick you want the dressing to be)
1 T Chopped shallots
Salt, pepper, or other herbs to taste, if you like.
Quickly whisk all ingredients and serve. I use a small mustard bottle with a lid for a final shake-up.

Consumable Gift Basket
Champagne vinegar
Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon
Gift certificate for restaurant in Seaside 
Green olives hand-stuffed with garlic
HP sauce (The Canadian insisted upon this English steak sauce which supposedly puts A1 to shame. I can't really tell the difference.)
Old English hot mustard
Russian mustard (Beaverton Foods mustards are available along the coast, but they don't have all the flavors we have up here)
Sardines (Ick. Gross. Ick. However, this wasn't a basket for me, so in they went.)
Taveners Proper Sweets- English Liquorice Allsorts 
Werther's (You can get Werther's everywhere, even in Waldport, but between the liquorice candy and the sardines, the basket was tipping in favor of my dad).

the saturday market

When I was growing up in Eugene, our next door neighbor was Jim Brady. You might remember Jim. He had a booth at the Saturday Market, and later, the 5th Street Market, where he sold gorgeous handcrafted wood products for the home. He joined together different types of woods so the end effect looked like stripes. You see this kind of work everywhere now. I’ve even seen it in department stores. But in the late seventies, Jim was the pioneer, and his stunning craftsmanship was coveted by many.

Jim’s daughter was my best friend so inevitably, I was in and out of their home multiple times every day. If we stayed off the roof, and managed not to have an argument for more than a day or two (a nearly impossible task for two headstrong little girls), we got to accompany her dad to the Saturday Market.

Arriving early so Jim could set up his booth and set out his wares, we’d wander aimlessly around the grounds, watching the day unfold. The jester bounced his bells in our direction as he danced a sweet dance, surrounded by even sweeter-smelling smoke. Peanuts’ Lucy nodded and smiled as she set up her booth, ready to dispense her advice, for a price. And everywhere, the market was coming alive, as vendors unpacked and placed their goods on display, hoping for a bustling day at the Market.

In the gooey, garlicky pizza by the slice, in the sweet, sharp tang of lemons in the lemonade, and in bicycle grease and essential oils; as the day unfolded, the good smells of summer and Eugene were everywhere in the Saturday Market.

When my mother got a new Jenn-Air stove, a novelty in those days, she ruminated about the uncovered grill sitting in the middle of the kitchen countertop. Soon after, Jim showed up with a custom striped wood cover made just for my mom. It perched perfectly on top of the grill for all the years we lived in Eugene, whenever the grill wasn’t in use.

We lost touch with the Bradys when we moved to the Midwest when I was in high school. I finally reconnected with the family some years ago, when I was planning my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Sadly, we found, Jim had passed away in 2004. But his touch is everywhere in my parent’s kitchen, and in my kitchen, too. They have the wooden knife block and a cutting board and I have the Jenn Air grill cover. Yep, it’s mine now. I don’t have the built in stove-top grill, but it fits nicely on top of two of the burners.  And it’s still in excellent condition. It’s a beautiful piece handcrafted by a wonderful man- and a wonderful neighbor.

And that’s what the Saturday Market is. It’s your neighbors. Your friends. Members of your community creating something that’s meaningful to them, and selling it at the Saturday Market because they know it will be valuable to you, too. The Market remains unique because all of the artisans and artists have to handcraft their wares, and be approved by a board. Whether you want a handmade leather cuff, a piece of thrown pottery, or a painting, you can find it at the Market. The Saturday Market also has world-class people watching. Even if you just want to window-shop and have lunch, you can hardly go wrong with choices ranging from Lebanese to Guatemalan to Polish to Southern barbecue, and gorgeous dark chocolate caramels.

The artisans at the Portland Saturday Market welcome visitors throughout the year on Saturdays and Sundays and from December 19-23 you can visit from 11-5 each day for the Festival of the Last Minute. The Eugene Saturday Market has already shut down, taking its annual hiatus until April, but the Holiday Market is open every weekend from 10-6 daily through Christmas Eve, when they shut down at 4 pm.

Portland Saturday Market
108 West Burnside, Portland, OR 97209

Eugene Holiday Market
@ the Lane County Fairgrounds, 13th & Jefferson, in Eugene, Oregon