2006 top news stories from Kentucky, the country, the world and the universe

  1. Throw out your astronomy books, because Pluto is not a planet. Pluto gets reclassified as a “dwarf planet” during a “contentious” meeting of the International Astronomical Union. Contentious?
  2. Castro falls ill and the world holds its collective breath, waiting to hear how his brother would change the totalitarian Cuban regime. “Not so much,” said the brother.
  3. Homeland Security decides to build a border wall. That should show terrorist intelligence who’s the boss.
  4. Grigori Perelman turns down the Fields Medal, the top honor in his field, stating he didn’t deserve the publicity. Now that’s hot, Paris!
  5. Steve Fossett flies around the world without landing. Everyone else thinks they could have done that too in the time it takes to navigate airport security.
  6. Vice President Cheney accidentally shoots a friend during a hunting trip and his daughter purposely gets pregnant. And they say Republicans don’t know how to party.
  7. Noah’s ark found in Iran; unable to find two species of Britney and K-Fed, religious leaders settle on Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler.
  8. KY’s in a bowl game- and wins. It’s about time!
  9. Just don’t eat the spinach. A nasty strain of e-coli is spread through bagged salads. Owners of migrant farms from allover California ask “why?”
  10. The first female African and Chilean presidents are elected. Yes!

And the top news story of the year? The war continues in Iraq. The death toll stands at 818 U.S. service members killed in 2006 as of December 30th, with the total U.S. service people killed since the war started to 2,998. Estimates of Iraqi civilian deaths vary from 50,000 to 600,000. This week, President Bush attended the 60th annual dinner of the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association and shared a video of self looking under Oval office carpets for weapons of mass destruction, cheerfully joking “nope, no weapons here!” Where’s the joke?

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