chemical peel
I’m often disappointed by other people. Even now, when I thought I was over that. I’m still surprised by how much pretense some people have, and how often they lie. To themselves, and to everyone else around them. Pretending to be something that they aren’t.
Living your life honestly. Without any make-believe. That kind of upfrontery is hard to find.
In fact, outside of my core group of friends and family, it seems almost nonexistent.
I know that I give other people too much power. And I know that I need to stop being so trusting. But it’s hard to give up a life-long habit. I’ve tried, really hard, to stop being so gullible. To resume old relationships in a way that’s a little wiser, a little smarter. To enter into new relationships with a wary chip on my shoulder. Knowing that I should know better. But people will wear you down.
I’m looking for a procedure. Like a chemical peel. Stripping down to what matters. I just want to peel back that first layer of skin. Get to what’s underneath for once.
But lately, what worries me is the number of people in my life who have gotten under my skin.
Can I have them surgically removed?
Is there a process, like a chemical peel, that will take away unsightly friends and burn off ugly old lovers?
A procedure that eliminates all of the old scars left behind by failed relationships?
Removes the fine lines left from friends that I no longer speak with?
The basic cell structure. Naked. Stripped. Without pretense. Without defense.
Does it exist? And how much does it cost?
Living your life honestly. Without any make-believe. That kind of upfrontery is hard to find.
In fact, outside of my core group of friends and family, it seems almost nonexistent.
I know that I give other people too much power. And I know that I need to stop being so trusting. But it’s hard to give up a life-long habit. I’ve tried, really hard, to stop being so gullible. To resume old relationships in a way that’s a little wiser, a little smarter. To enter into new relationships with a wary chip on my shoulder. Knowing that I should know better. But people will wear you down.
I’m looking for a procedure. Like a chemical peel. Stripping down to what matters. I just want to peel back that first layer of skin. Get to what’s underneath for once.
But lately, what worries me is the number of people in my life who have gotten under my skin.
Can I have them surgically removed?
Is there a process, like a chemical peel, that will take away unsightly friends and burn off ugly old lovers?
A procedure that eliminates all of the old scars left behind by failed relationships?
Removes the fine lines left from friends that I no longer speak with?
The basic cell structure. Naked. Stripped. Without pretense. Without defense.
Does it exist? And how much does it cost?
Comments
Every failed relationship for me was training. I'm better for most of them. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones. The tepid ones were the wastes, really. Didn't learn much.
Old friendships...well, those are different. At some point in time, you decide that staying power counts for something. Friends don't have to be perfect, and in fact they won't be, but it's all easier if you know how much to give and how much will be properly reciprocated.
Not everyone that you care about should be cared about as much as you care about them. It's tough to recognize where to draw the line.
It's also tough to remember that their failings aren't really something to take too much to heart or too personally.
That's what I've learned, anyway.
I’m lucky that I have some really good people in my life. That won’t change. But I continue to make mistakes when I let new people in. I trust the wrong people. People who are very deceptive, and deliberately hurtful. People who treat human relationships like a sporting event… like a game. It makes me feel so, so stupid. Haven’t I learned anything?
And what I cannot understand is, why do they always come after me? Do I have a kick me sign on my back? Or what?
I’m lucky that I have some really good people in my life. That won’t change. But I continue to make mistakes when I let new people in. I trust the wrong people. People who are very deceptive, and deliberately hurtful. People who treat human relationships like a sporting event… like a game. It makes me feel so, so stupid. Haven’t I learned anything?
And what I cannot understand is, why do they always come after me? Do I have a kick me sign on my back? Or what?