follow-up: the angry blogger


I wrote the angry blogger earlier this summer. Talking about how it’s wrong to write mean things about other people and then print them in a blog.

And then what did I do? I posted a couple of pissed-off blogs.

True, some hurtful, hurtful things have been said and written about me lately. Pointed, mean things about how I’m not a good person. Mean enough to make me want to say something back, and I did.

But, it was wrong. As my mom would say, “you weren’t raised that way, Lisa.” So I deleted them. The people in question don’t read this blog so it’s a small concession- they didn’t know about the posts anyway. But I know I did the right thing. I’ve always said I wouldn’t delete any post just because someone doesn’t like it. But in the end, I was the one who didn’t like the posts- and I didn’t like myself very much for writing them.

It really hurt me to hear and read negative things about myself. But it didn’t make me feel any better to put something out in the public domain about those other people. I don’t need to print snippy things about someone else in order to feel good about my life. I have too much other stuff to write about here. I’m not going to continue to try to respond to a war of words; a war I never wanted to get into, a war that has gotten way out of hand. It’s silly, really.

I’ll continue to make mistakes during my journey. But hopefully, I won’t make this mistake again.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Good call.

Most of the public "fights" get far too out of hand and the online medium makes for unnecessarily hurtful and damaging stuff.

Better to rise above. You never know where you or they will be in the future.

If someone wants to play nasty, I let them play alone.

Real people make money and happiness by making those around them and themselves better off. Attacking and counter attacking is simply zero sum stuff that is inconsistent with most people's rationally held values. Those who like it, are objectifying others and are most likely empty shells. Pity them.

Best,
Mark
Lisa said…
Mark,

You’re right. It was inconsistent with my values- and my character.

About a month ago, I stumbled across something online that was very, very hurtful. I know the writer. I know he was writing about me. I was deeply offended. And since that time, a number of other, pointed things started appearing online that were very clearly “aimed” at me. It’s pretty nasty, really. And it’s just really perplexing. I don’t know why that person is so angry with me.

Subsequently, I found out that someone else that I thought was a friend had really trash talked me to a business associate. That was hurtful too. Meanwhile, I have been trying to deal with loss. And various family concerns. In other words, the timing couldn’t be worse, as my patience for all of this has worn very thin.

So I posted a couple of angry blogs of my own. That was childish. I thought about it and realized that these people are dealing with a lot of problems, and unhappiness, in their own lives. I think this is part of why they are angry at me. And I don’t want to kick them when they are down.

Like my mom has told me many times, the opposite of caring about someone isn’t hating them. It’s indifference. I refuse to be provoked anymore. It’s a waste of my time.

Meanwhile, it’s so funny you mention money… Since I decided to move on this week, only good things have happened, work-wise. I got tapped for a very high profile blog gig and I picked up a couple of new websites to work on, too.

Who says being nice doesn’t pay?

:)
Anonymous said…
Benevolence is both a virtue and a rationally held value. :)

You go, girl.

Mark
Lisa said…
i'm trying... it ain't always easy, though. :)
Lisa said…
i'm trying... it ain't always easy, though. :)
Lisa said…
Mark,

You’re right. It was inconsistent with my values- and my character.

About a month ago, I stumbled across something online that was very, very hurtful. I know the writer. I know he was writing about me. I was deeply offended. And since that time, a number of other, pointed things started appearing online that were very clearly “aimed” at me. It’s pretty nasty, really. And it’s just really perplexing. I don’t know why that person is so angry with me.

Subsequently, I found out that someone else that I thought was a friend had really trash talked me to a business associate. That was hurtful too. Meanwhile, I have been trying to deal with loss. And various family concerns. In other words, the timing couldn’t be worse, as my patience for all of this has worn very thin.

So I posted a couple of angry blogs of my own. That was childish. I thought about it and realized that these people are dealing with a lot of problems, and unhappiness, in their own lives. I think this is part of why they are angry at me. And I don’t want to kick them when they are down.

Like my mom has told me many times, the opposite of caring about someone isn’t hating them. It’s indifference. I refuse to be provoked anymore. It’s a waste of my time.

Meanwhile, it’s so funny you mention money… Since I decided to move on this week, only good things have happened, work-wise. I got tapped for a very high profile blog gig and I picked up a couple of new websites to work on, too.

Who says being nice doesn’t pay?

:)

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