Tuesday, November 20, 2007

the rules

If someone contacts you repeatedly, it’s ok to tag them back every once in a while, right? A little communique give~and~take? Well, no, apparently, that’s not always how’s it done. Unless a terse response- or worse- is what you had in mind when you responded with a call, email or text message.

Lately, I feel like this keeps happening to me. And it always makes me feel like I did something wrong. Like that person is angry about something. Like I don’t know how to play their game. And it’s true. I don’t know the rules.

I definitely don’t need to be made to feel… like I’m not a person of consequence. Like I’m unimportant. I don’t treat other people that way. At least I don’t think I do. So why does it happen? I could chalk it up to being busy... But that doesn't really make sense, either. Because we're all busy, every day. Regardless, I guess I’m not doing the right thing, somehow. Not correctly playing by the rules of this particular game.

I wish I had the rules. Because the game knocks me topsy-turvy every time.

And when someone tells me that they are not a bad person, my antennae go up. Because why would you tell me you’re not bad, when you could just show me what a good person you are?

A friend of mine used to tell me that when someone begins a sentence with “Honestly,” or “Truthfully,” that you know that they’re about to lie. I don’t know if I believe that. I start sentences with those words all the time, and I’m not lying.

But like so many other innocuous comments made by my friends, it stuck. Now, whenever I’m in a conversation with someone and they start off with Honestly or Truthfully, I pay close attention to see if they might be lying. Breaking my rules.

You can hardly expect that someone who will hurt you or take advantage of your good nature will tell you that they are about to do it. But wouldn’t it be nice for a change? To understand the rules?

Instead of:

“I don’t play games.”

We might hear:

“My ‘Game’ is ‘Not Having a Game.’”

Rather than saying:

“I’m telling you the truth. I’m not a jerk.”

We were told:

“I can’t make up my mind about what I want, so I think I'll just keep stringing you along.”

Forget:

“You’re the one I want to be with.”

How about:

“Well. At least until something better happens by.”

Would it make things easier? Or would I crumble under the weight of too many truths? ~

Another quote from a great movie: “Doesn’t anyone here CARE ABOUT THE F*CKING RULES??!!”

hint: bathrobes and white russians are optional.