daddy’s girl
“My dad said I can come and live with him,” she said, tossing her hair. “My dad wants me there.”
Really? I thought, but didn’t say. Because when you told the court about the bad things he did, that effectively ended any possibility of ever living with him. Much less visiting him or even seeing him again.
Your dad’s a big loser. That’s what I felt like saying. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell her the truth. Because I knew how much it would hurt her.
He loves to drink. He treated her mother terribly. Was abusive to her. Lied. And lied to me when I called there, never passing along my messages. Kept all of us apart for almost a year.
A selfish, selfish man who cares only about himself. He’ll die alone, in that sad, lonely apartment. Missing out on the best years of her life. A shambling drunk, with only vague memories… A ruinous ghost who stumbled in and out of her life. Never really taking part. Missing out on everything, even when he was there.
He doesn’t just hurt her. He hurts me, too. He knows that she can’t live with him. He knows it will never happen. So it’s easy for him, making more and more promises that he will never keep.
How could such a loser sire such a beautiful girl? That sparkling, quick-witted, adorable child… It seems impossible. When she does something wrong, I’m quick to say it’s a trait from her father. It couldn’t have come from her mom.
Go back to the bar, I want to tell him. Leave us alone. And let us have some peace, let us enjoy our family. I wish he would fall off the face of the earth.
But I didn’t say it. I didn’t say any of it. I couldn’t say it and be the one that breaks her heart. She’ll understand what he is one day. She’ll understand everything when she is older.
Or maybe she won’t understand. That’s what I hope, anyway.
Really? I thought, but didn’t say. Because when you told the court about the bad things he did, that effectively ended any possibility of ever living with him. Much less visiting him or even seeing him again.
Your dad’s a big loser. That’s what I felt like saying. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell her the truth. Because I knew how much it would hurt her.
He loves to drink. He treated her mother terribly. Was abusive to her. Lied. And lied to me when I called there, never passing along my messages. Kept all of us apart for almost a year.
A selfish, selfish man who cares only about himself. He’ll die alone, in that sad, lonely apartment. Missing out on the best years of her life. A shambling drunk, with only vague memories… A ruinous ghost who stumbled in and out of her life. Never really taking part. Missing out on everything, even when he was there.
He doesn’t just hurt her. He hurts me, too. He knows that she can’t live with him. He knows it will never happen. So it’s easy for him, making more and more promises that he will never keep.
How could such a loser sire such a beautiful girl? That sparkling, quick-witted, adorable child… It seems impossible. When she does something wrong, I’m quick to say it’s a trait from her father. It couldn’t have come from her mom.
Go back to the bar, I want to tell him. Leave us alone. And let us have some peace, let us enjoy our family. I wish he would fall off the face of the earth.
But I didn’t say it. I didn’t say any of it. I couldn’t say it and be the one that breaks her heart. She’ll understand what he is one day. She’ll understand everything when she is older.
Or maybe she won’t understand. That’s what I hope, anyway.
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