thoughtful

My father and I got to talking about one of my nephews when I was visiting over the holidays. The young fellow delighted attendees at a recent sporting event by dancing on court at halftime. We think he just plain forgot that thousands of people were watching him. “His dad’s like that too,” my pop said, in one of his usual en pointe observations. “He gets inside his head.”

Yeah, I know the feeling. Not that I’ve ever danced in front of thousands of people (not that I’ve ever danced in front of thousands of people yet), but I also have a tendency to get lost in my thoughts.

I got “busted” for this all the time when I worked for a large company. Running from one meeting to the next, I’d be gathering my thoughts, or who knows, writing a poem or a grocery list, when one- maybe two- people would call out, “Look up, Lisa.” Not that there was too much to run into, but I suppose it was an odd sight, seeing me scamper through the hallways, head down, deep in thought.

They say to be thoughtful- as in full of thought, not gracious- is a good thing. I’m guessing the people who say this envision great thinkers like Einstein. Coleridge. Nietzsche.

I know they’re not talking about someone like me. My head is usually wrapped around some complicated equation of Lisa + family or Lisa + a relationship or something related to work. Nothing too brainy. And I have to wonder:

Is there a downside to thinking too much?

We spend so much time talking about ourselves. Talking to therapists, family and to friends. Even to complete strangers. That’s the secret to my sparkling conversation skills, BTW. I just ask someone about themselves. Usually, they won’t- and maybe can’t- stop talking, sometimes for an hour or more. And when I say they can’t stop talking, it’s not because they’re so self-involved. I think it’s just because sometimes, we all get a little too inside our heads.

And when it comes to downtime, I like stuff you don’t have to think about too much. This weekend I watched Hackers for the first time ever. Other than my secret passion for old 1984-style movies about computers (weren’t we all so silly back then?), I thought it was just ok. But I still watched it the whole way through.

I always have to do that, no matter how bad the movie is. Like I’ve committed myself and it’s some sort of test to see how much I can take. Dumb. But I kind of enjoyed the flick, mainly because, I didn’t have to concentrate. Look for nuances. Consider every random word as some sort of foreshadowing. Read sub-titles. Practice my rusty French. Actually, I didn’t even really watch the movie. I just looked at it.

And is that really such a bad thing?

Would it be so horrible for any of us to take a time out from stressing out about the things that worry us the most? To not spend every waking hour trying to make ourselves and the world around us a better place?

To take some time to do my favorite thing… and just be?

Or would that kind of slacking off result in total chaos?

I only have to look around my place to give you one possible outcome: command central (e.g., the home office) looks as ADD as ever, with unread magazines and books (including several on organization, harrumph), unopened mail and every other kind of detritus taking over. Clearly, I’ve spent far too much time in my head lately.

With no great thoughts to show for it, either.

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