the rules
I couldn’t believe I’d just heard what I thought I heard, so I asked her to repeat the phrase. Which she did. Firmly.
“No overnight guests.” Yup, she really said it. And it’s just one of the many rules for living in a vintage apartment building I was scoping in downtown Portland, Oregon.
As I’ve searched the apartments section of Portland craigslist, I’ve seen all kinds of crazy rental ads with really bizarre rules. Either the people who rent out properties in Portland are incredibly obsessive or they’ve had a lot of problems in the past with renters. Either way, finding a place where I can just do my own thing in peace seems like it might be a tall order.
Seeing a laundry list of do’s and don’ts in a rental ad is enough to tell me, this is probably not a person I want to rent from. In fact, the ads imply that nosy people will be looking over your shoulder all the time. Portland property management is fleshing out to be the Big Brother of the apartment world. A frightening prospect.
Add to that my general rules for what I want (in one of several specific city districts, accessible for a visitor who can’t do stairs, safe, has a very high walking score) and finding an apartment in Portland is becoming a real challenge. I’ll get there eventually. And maybe I’ll take my brother’s advice and just move to any old place until I find where I really want to live. That’s sounding more and more like a very realistic plan.
Some other Portland apartment rules that might pose a problem for me:
“Mature residents only.” Maybe I could pretend not to have a blog and wear a skirt when I visit the property managers. And try not to open my mouth.
“No cats.” That wasn’t the problem. It was the next sentence: “We already have several.”
Or how about “some dogs ok upon landlord review.” So I’m to do what with a dog if they don’t approve of him? After his “review?” What does a dog review consist of, anyway? Does he have to talk about his accomplishments over the last year? Sweet-talk her into a raise of one extra milk bone each week?
No overnight guests.
I explained that my parents live on the coast and will want to visit once in a while. “That’s fine. We’ll recognize them.”
I had a fleeting thought that I should tell her, it might just be my “daddy” visiting for one night at a time, and he usually looks like he’s around 30 or 40 years old, and between 5’8 and 6’ tall depending upon his shoes, but instead I just shut up. And hung up.
And went back to looking at the ads.
“No overnight guests.” Yup, she really said it. And it’s just one of the many rules for living in a vintage apartment building I was scoping in downtown Portland, Oregon.
As I’ve searched the apartments section of Portland craigslist, I’ve seen all kinds of crazy rental ads with really bizarre rules. Either the people who rent out properties in Portland are incredibly obsessive or they’ve had a lot of problems in the past with renters. Either way, finding a place where I can just do my own thing in peace seems like it might be a tall order.
Seeing a laundry list of do’s and don’ts in a rental ad is enough to tell me, this is probably not a person I want to rent from. In fact, the ads imply that nosy people will be looking over your shoulder all the time. Portland property management is fleshing out to be the Big Brother of the apartment world. A frightening prospect.
Add to that my general rules for what I want (in one of several specific city districts, accessible for a visitor who can’t do stairs, safe, has a very high walking score) and finding an apartment in Portland is becoming a real challenge. I’ll get there eventually. And maybe I’ll take my brother’s advice and just move to any old place until I find where I really want to live. That’s sounding more and more like a very realistic plan.
Some other Portland apartment rules that might pose a problem for me:
“Mature residents only.” Maybe I could pretend not to have a blog and wear a skirt when I visit the property managers. And try not to open my mouth.
“No cats.” That wasn’t the problem. It was the next sentence: “We already have several.”
Or how about “some dogs ok upon landlord review.” So I’m to do what with a dog if they don’t approve of him? After his “review?” What does a dog review consist of, anyway? Does he have to talk about his accomplishments over the last year? Sweet-talk her into a raise of one extra milk bone each week?
No overnight guests.
I explained that my parents live on the coast and will want to visit once in a while. “That’s fine. We’ll recognize them.”
I had a fleeting thought that I should tell her, it might just be my “daddy” visiting for one night at a time, and he usually looks like he’s around 30 or 40 years old, and between 5’8 and 6’ tall depending upon his shoes, but instead I just shut up. And hung up.
And went back to looking at the ads.
Comments