you are here
Defining your place in the world is never easy. And I should know. For a long time now, I’ve been wondering where my place is supposed to be. That will come as a shock to regular readers. Ha. Prone to self reflection doesn’t begin to cover it. I spent years trying to figure out where I might go wrong. Protecting myself from potential mishaps and missteps. So much so that I may have actually missed out. On a few things. But no regrets, right?
A woman I met recently was telling me a story about a relationship gone wrong. She ended the story with a warning, and some well-meaning advice: “Never date your best friend’s brother.” I know where she’s coming from.
But I spent so much time in the past not doing things because they seemed like a bad idea (never date someone you work with, never go out with a neighbor, blah, blah, blah), and I don’t know that those were always the best decisions for me.
And if you’re reading this and you think that you moved here (wherever here is for you) to be with family, or for a job, or a spouse or whatever, well, that may be true. I did one of those things. But it may also be true that you had to move here for something really good to happen with a business that you didn’t know you would ever own. Or maybe you’re supposed to meet the love of your life here. Man, I don’t know. But rather than reflecting on what you did that was right… what you’ve done that was wrong… Maybe you should take care not to miss what’s right under your nose.
You know?
Sometimes I think, why didn’t I move to Portland five years ago… ten years ago… why I ever left Oregon to begin with. I remember feeling down some months ago, when I’d made the decision to move but felt too saddled with medical bills to ever make it happen and annie said, “you feel this way because you’re meant to be somewhere else. You’re in the wrong place.”
But then I think, maybe I wasn’t meant to be here until now. Maybe there’s some reason why I didn’t show up before.
Instead of running wildly all over the state this month (like I have ever since arriving) I’m contemplating spending some more time in Portland. Have some quiet weekends to catch up on work. Amble over to the farmer’s market on a Saturday. And just relax and enjoy the city.
I told someone recently, it’s 50/50 whenever I leave the house… sometimes I can find just what I’m looking for and sometimes I get lost. Not too bad after a couple of months. Portland is a lot smaller than where I lived before but it’s chopped up. Uneven. Streets sometimes just stop, for no apparent reason. I’m figuring it out. These days, when I drive over the Ross Island bridge it’s because I want to, not because I have to. Finding my way around town always reminds me about being open to finding my karmatic path too.
And at this point, I feel open to anything… Regardless of whether or not it’s a good idea.
A woman I met recently was telling me a story about a relationship gone wrong. She ended the story with a warning, and some well-meaning advice: “Never date your best friend’s brother.” I know where she’s coming from.
But I spent so much time in the past not doing things because they seemed like a bad idea (never date someone you work with, never go out with a neighbor, blah, blah, blah), and I don’t know that those were always the best decisions for me.
And if you’re reading this and you think that you moved here (wherever here is for you) to be with family, or for a job, or a spouse or whatever, well, that may be true. I did one of those things. But it may also be true that you had to move here for something really good to happen with a business that you didn’t know you would ever own. Or maybe you’re supposed to meet the love of your life here. Man, I don’t know. But rather than reflecting on what you did that was right… what you’ve done that was wrong… Maybe you should take care not to miss what’s right under your nose.
You know?
Sometimes I think, why didn’t I move to Portland five years ago… ten years ago… why I ever left Oregon to begin with. I remember feeling down some months ago, when I’d made the decision to move but felt too saddled with medical bills to ever make it happen and annie said, “you feel this way because you’re meant to be somewhere else. You’re in the wrong place.”
But then I think, maybe I wasn’t meant to be here until now. Maybe there’s some reason why I didn’t show up before.
Instead of running wildly all over the state this month (like I have ever since arriving) I’m contemplating spending some more time in Portland. Have some quiet weekends to catch up on work. Amble over to the farmer’s market on a Saturday. And just relax and enjoy the city.
I told someone recently, it’s 50/50 whenever I leave the house… sometimes I can find just what I’m looking for and sometimes I get lost. Not too bad after a couple of months. Portland is a lot smaller than where I lived before but it’s chopped up. Uneven. Streets sometimes just stop, for no apparent reason. I’m figuring it out. These days, when I drive over the Ross Island bridge it’s because I want to, not because I have to. Finding my way around town always reminds me about being open to finding my karmatic path too.
And at this point, I feel open to anything… Regardless of whether or not it’s a good idea.
Comments