the fix-up

I was chatting with my friend Mark when he suddenly exclaimed, “Hey! I’ve got an attorney friend that I’d like to fix you up with.” Oh, God.

My emotions, as usual, must have been all over my face because I quickly received an uptight “What?! You’re too good to be fixed up?” No, Mark, I patiently explained. I am not “too good” for blind dates. But here’s the thing. If you want to fix me up with someone because he has that sarcastic sense of humor that I love, he’s interesting, smart and just seems like a person that I would be interested in, that’s great. I’d love to go.

But if you’re fixing me up with someone because he’s single and I’m single, well. You can just forget it.

There’s nothing worse than the fix-up. And I don't mean where you keep thinking two people might be a good match for each other so you make a suggestion. That’s great. I appreciate it. But the whole “let’s push these two lonely people together because they have nothing better to do” is just not happening. At least not for me.

I've never believed in dating just for the sake of dating. Honestly? I’d rather watch my DVD of The Big Lebowski for the gazillionth time than waste my time in an awkward situation, with someone I’m not interested in. why bother?

True story: Sometime during my senior year of high school or thereabouts, I was fixed up on a blind date by my friend Mel. He was nice. I liked him. But he wasn’t at all my type and I could tell, I wasn’t his type either. A day or two later I am on the phone with one my friends.

“So what did you think of him?”

“Well, he’s nice, but not my type.”

“Ah, too bad.”

“But I’ll tell you something. I think you would really like him.”

“What?! Are you kidding?”

“No. I just have this feeling that you two would really hit it off.”

They went out. Got married. And actually, they’re among the few people I know who stayed married.

How ‘bout that?