fine, thanks

A friend of mine used to say that people don't want or expect an answer when they ask "How are you?" They say it automatically, because it's what you do, after all, when you run into someone you know. But most of the time, people have too much on their minds to really listen to your response.

I conducted an experiment* a while ago, just giving random answers when asked how I was doing. It was funny; no matter what I would say, I could tell by their responses that people really weren't listening to me.

I don’t know whether to be put off by this or not. We lead busy lives; we’re constantly under attack, receiving information from far too many sources. We might be, in fact, what many people refer to as “overconnected.” Between Facebook updates, Twitter blasts, emails and yes, this blog, I rely on not talking to people in order to update them on my life.

How screwed up is that?

In thinking once again that I want to break my Crackberry addiction and move on to something new, I’ve been looking at phones that offer even more options- for texting and emailing. Because really, that’s mostly what I do. These forms of communication far surpass any phone conversations I’ve had in recent months and I can’t even remember the last time I sat down and wrote someone a letter.

When a friend is in trouble or hurting, I write them an email to let them know they have my support. Send little text messages just so they know, they’re on my mind. When I can’t connect with my sisters by phone, they too receive texts, which seem to grow ever more and more shorthanded, as we all lost the time to type out proper messages: “ask him say yes pick up Aug 4?” (response from sis: “he is a yes but l8r, like 7”).

Even at the blushing beginning of a new romance, I’m hard-pressed to pick up a phone. Why bother to call when a text can do all the talking for me? And when it comes right down to it, I’m a writer. I know how to write a (really good) text, IM or an email to someone I care about. So naturally, writing will be my first choice for emotional expression. For saying things I don’t know how to say in person. Frisky flirting, heartfelt promises and a whole lot more, all happening in just 160 characters or less.

How am I doing? I’ll send you an email.

*Sample responses I gave when asked how I was doing:

"OK. I just got treated for my STD and I think I can start having sex with random guys again." "That's great, Lisa!"

"Not too bad, since I started using a straight-edge razor to get rid of the stress." "Awesome! Hope to see you out this weekend!"